[He’s committed to memory the things that Clarke has told him, that day they visited the skypark and exchanged stories emblazoned in his mind. One of the first instances of someone reaching out to him, of offering a small mote of trust in exchange for his own. A conversation and an experience not so easily forgotten, couched in cool breeze and sunlight.
Every detail more she elaborates on, she fills it a bit more about where she’s from, like a painting slowly forming on canvas. All of it suggests a world less than viable; that, or it illuminates upon the state of humanity as a whole. Teenagers as “expendable”.]
Were you delegated the role of the leader? Or did you take that mantle up for yourself?
I'd say there were three options for leadership. Myself, Bellamy, and Wells, my best friend.
Bellamy led the teenagers into a furor. He had a reason for doing it. He wanted to make it so that they could forget their lives before. He had everything he needed on the ground: himself and his sister (he's the only one with a sibling who grew up on the Ark, which was illegal and got his mother killed). He told them to "do whatever the hell they wanted," and ... being young, they gave in. It wasn't very practical. But as much as this makes him sound bad, he had his reasons. We all make mistakes, and I understand why he was doing this there.
Wells ... He was the son of the very man who sent us down. I know, his own father. He wanted to go down to be with me. But as you can expect, no one wanted to listen to Wells. And he and I weren't getting along, so we couldn't be a unified front when I didn't trust him. [Clarke has no intention of explaining everything here with Wells. That he posed as the one who got her father killed, that he made it so that Clarke's relationship with her mother wouldn't be tarnished. She'll tell Markus a lot, but not that.
Perhaps in the end, it's because the only person that Markus reminds her more of than Bellamy is Wells.]
I knew what to do. Where to go. How to get us there. It was natural. I wasn't elected or asked to be leader. I just did it.
Honestly, I assumed you ended up in that position in a similar way. Doing what you felt was necessary for your people.
"Do whatever the hell they wanted." Bellamy doesn't seem like that kind of person, but I don't know him that well. We've only spoken once or twice before.
[But he seemed calm, cool-headed. Controlled. Do whatever the hell you want feels like too hot of a spark to come from that kind of person, but first impressions are barely even skin deep.]
You're right, it was the same for me. We're similar in that way, too, Clarke.
[A brief pause between messages, just a flicker of a thing.]
When I found the other androids, ones that had awoken to their own sense of agency, like myself, they were content to live and hide in shadow. Fearful of mankind, fearful of going out and living. I had to lead them away from that, I had to show them that wasn't the only option left for them. That they deserved to be happy just as much as the humans, and it was something worth fighting for.
I just did what needed to be done. I didn't ask to lead.
It's not who he is, but it suited what he felt and thought needed to be done at the time. Like I said, he had his reasons. It's a little funny to look back on it all now.
[Clarke is, in fact, smiling at the memory. Bellamy is so grounded now. He's no less prone to fits of emotion, being swept away in what he feels needs to be done without any point of hesitation. But he's no longer reckless, willing to put a hundred lives in danger to avoid consequences. To keep people from hurting his sister. He was always that good, and Clarke was fortunate to see it.]
When it comes to leadership, I've heard a lot that sometimes it's how someone is born. But having the courage to step up and do what you feel needs to be done. Not everyone has that.
It's hard to believe it of myself, but I can see it in other people. I see it in you especially.
I'm not even sure that bravery is the right word for it. Being idle and doing nothing never feels right. According to some people I knew back home, that was leadership.
[Duly noted about Bellamy, shaping his personality a little more than before. Maybe if he gets a chance to know the man better, this same shape will come into full view; for now, he takes Clarke's word for it.]
Less how someone is born, and maybe more how they are raised. How much idealism they're allowed to let foster within themselves, how much they care about the people dear to them and the world around them.
[And how willing that person is to sacrifice themselves for a cause, no matter what it happens to be. Markus doesn't say that much, but perhaps it's implied.]
I wasn't born; I was made for one specific purpose, after all, one that I obviously don't follow any longer.
[I see it in you especially. Flattering, but making something melancholy ring out in his chest all the same.]
We're always our own worst critics, Clarke. I have no doubt you're as much of a leader in reality as you are in my mind. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm made for the part, either, but we do what needs to be done.
I wasn't born to be among the people who would find out that Earth was survivable. My generation was supposed to raise and prepare the generation that would do that. We don't always do what we're intended to do.
We just do what we have to.
[It feels like a pretty good summary for everything they've spoken about up to this point. Their lives before, and who they are now. Whether they believe that of themselves, though it's always easier for others to believe it of them. Clarke is used to that much.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Every detail more she elaborates on, she fills it a bit more about where she’s from, like a painting slowly forming on canvas. All of it suggests a world less than viable; that, or it illuminates upon the state of humanity as a whole. Teenagers as “expendable”.]
Were you delegated the role of the leader? Or did you take that mantle up for yourself?
no subject
Bellamy led the teenagers into a furor. He had a reason for doing it. He wanted to make it so that they could forget their lives before. He had everything he needed on the ground: himself and his sister (he's the only one with a sibling who grew up on the Ark, which was illegal and got his mother killed). He told them to "do whatever the hell they wanted," and ... being young, they gave in. It wasn't very practical. But as much as this makes him sound bad, he had his reasons. We all make mistakes, and I understand why he was doing this there.
Wells ... He was the son of the very man who sent us down. I know, his own father. He wanted to go down to be with me. But as you can expect, no one wanted to listen to Wells. And he and I weren't getting along, so we couldn't be a unified front when I didn't trust him. [Clarke has no intention of explaining everything here with Wells. That he posed as the one who got her father killed, that he made it so that Clarke's relationship with her mother wouldn't be tarnished. She'll tell Markus a lot, but not that.
Perhaps in the end, it's because the only person that Markus reminds her more of than Bellamy is Wells.]
I knew what to do. Where to go. How to get us there. It was natural. I wasn't elected or asked to be leader. I just did it.
Honestly, I assumed you ended up in that position in a similar way. Doing what you felt was necessary for your people.
no subject
[But he seemed calm, cool-headed. Controlled. Do whatever the hell you want feels like too hot of a spark to come from that kind of person, but first impressions are barely even skin deep.]
You're right, it was the same for me. We're similar in that way, too, Clarke.
[A brief pause between messages, just a flicker of a thing.]
When I found the other androids, ones that had awoken to their own sense of agency, like myself, they were content to live and hide in shadow. Fearful of mankind, fearful of going out and living. I had to lead them away from that, I had to show them that wasn't the only option left for them. That they deserved to be happy just as much as the humans, and it was something worth fighting for.
I just did what needed to be done. I didn't ask to lead.
no subject
[Clarke is, in fact, smiling at the memory. Bellamy is so grounded now. He's no less prone to fits of emotion, being swept away in what he feels needs to be done without any point of hesitation. But he's no longer reckless, willing to put a hundred lives in danger to avoid consequences. To keep people from hurting his sister. He was always that good, and Clarke was fortunate to see it.]
When it comes to leadership, I've heard a lot that sometimes it's how someone is born. But having the courage to step up and do what you feel needs to be done. Not everyone has that.
It's hard to believe it of myself, but I can see it in other people. I see it in you especially.
I'm not even sure that bravery is the right word for it. Being idle and doing nothing never feels right. According to some people I knew back home, that was leadership.
no subject
Less how someone is born, and maybe more how they are raised. How much idealism they're allowed to let foster within themselves, how much they care about the people dear to them and the world around them.
[And how willing that person is to sacrifice themselves for a cause, no matter what it happens to be. Markus doesn't say that much, but perhaps it's implied.]
I wasn't born; I was made for one specific purpose, after all, one that I obviously don't follow any longer.
[I see it in you especially. Flattering, but making something melancholy ring out in his chest all the same.]
We're always our own worst critics, Clarke. I have no doubt you're as much of a leader in reality as you are in my mind. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm made for the part, either, but we do what needs to be done.
no subject
We just do what we have to.
[It feels like a pretty good summary for everything they've spoken about up to this point. Their lives before, and who they are now. Whether they believe that of themselves, though it's always easier for others to believe it of them. Clarke is used to that much.]