I'm glad we agree on the faith angle. I know many of our people don't agree with it and will reject it out of principle, but we'll just need to be prepared to hammer home that it's pragmatism. We don't need to say that we believe it's the case. I believe that there's some truth to it, even if we don't know the whole picture.
As for abilities, perhaps we can be flexible. I'll admit, I'm of the opinion that both of us have abilities that won't dress us up to be particularly favored by society. I think you've seen some of what I'm willing to do to myself, but perhaps not the power set that's come of it. So, I should tell you now, since we're in this together—
Back home, I was known as "Wanheda" to the people in my world. "Heda" means "Commander" in the language that the people there spoke (Trigedasleng). The rest meant "death," essentially. I was known as the Commander of Death because of all the lives I took. Repeatedly. It was war, and I was often backed up against a wall, but I did it. I did it for my people.
[He never had context for the suicidal ideation. Not really. Now he does.]
Our powers are a reflection of who we are in some way, right? So my power all this time has been to steal life from others. Just like you're a former neurosurgeon who can read minds, I can steal away life.
I'll address the rest in a moment. But I needed to be clear on that. Finally.
To say this isn't a direction he expected the conversation to take would be both to state and to understate the obvious. Stephen sits with it for only a few moments. His answer comes more quickly than those before it. ]
We do what we have to to protect whatever it is we've sworn to protect. Those are never clean choices. There's never time for the sentiment that keeps people from doing ugly things. We make the mistake we can live with and we live with it.
[ Wanheda is nothing he can hold against her when he has a body count of his own. Hers seems to be all blood and bone, his fluctuates wildly up and down with time and perspective, but neither one of them has been without a people to stand for and a final decision to make. Not everybody has the luxury of walking the righteous path. Some have to clutter their souls to keep that path clear to be trod or passed up for another by others.
His old indoctrinated doctor's morality has long since stopped having first say in the shape of his actions. He may not condone killing but he understands the necessity of it. He knows, intimately, that every life has a different value to each person given cause to consider it, and that sometimes the value of a life becomes a price worth paying.
That doesn't make it feel any better or weigh any less. Some choices are survivable, some aren't, and sometimes that's all there is. ]
Our powers grow with us. What else can you do?
[ She's telling him this to shine light on her past, show him the shadowed things he needs to see in her to have something closer to the full picture. He appreciates her honesty and the trust that's implicit in it. But it's as she said - they're in this together. And there are other things they both ought to see in her too. ]
[Up to this point, Clarke has also been fortunate that one of her enemies hasn't turned up here. Octavia had an opportunity to put her history out there, and hadn't taken it. There was a time when she feared the same from Murphy, but it's already apparent that he has no desire to do that. He mostly wants reassurance that he's wanted around—which she can easily offer him, if nothing else.]
But you're right. They do. I can choose to cause pain in someone. I can dig around their memories, bringing it into myself. I don't have much practice with this, but the me in Zerzura did. And more recently—I can heal myself, and heal others with my own life force.
It's grown in a way I can't deny.
[A good way, even if the seed of it is still planted in a way that doesn't look good to the external view.]
Only a small handful of people know of my power. But if we're asked what we can do, I think there may be complications when it comes to specifics.
[Putting it on the table, so to speak. Making sure he knows.
She hasn't hidden her past here because she hoped to escape it. She's hidden it because she knows how bad it is, and she's had enough people try to tell her that it doesn't matter. Not in the big picture. But to Clarke, it's always mattered. It will always matter.]
I made a business out of reading minds for months. I'm with you, no specifics.
[ She's absolutely right about that. Between the two of them, they'd be blacklisted in a week. The uglier concern: there may come a time when they need their powers as tool or weapon. Masks won't do them any good if they can be traced back to their power sets.
If they're avoiding specifics, they need an alternative. But Clarke's started a conversation that's more than just two exchanges long - they can get back to talking press release when it's over.
Honesty breeds honesty. ]
It's more than mind reading now. The mechanic of my power allows me to interact with the nervous system directly, both to translate and to alter electrical and chemical communications between neurons. To begin with that meant reading and speaking to minds. Now it also means identifying and hotwiring them. I can manipulate thought, initiate action remotely via direct interface with the central nervous system, interfere with a person's autonomic processes and as of last week I can take total physical control down to fine motor skills, processing their sensory data and/or operating their body as if it were my own moment by moment.
[ It doesn't paint a flattering picture. Each new development is an increasingly uncomfortable descent into assuming control over other lives at the expense of privacy and autonomy.
Clarke's journey carries her further away from her past and Stephen's seems only to cycle him back around to it. Years of growing and he's still not quite able to live by the Ancient One's final lesson. Helplessness steers him, and with it he steers others. ]
If what you did wasn't haunting you we'd have reason to worry. Just so long as it's informing you and not swallowing you.
[ He's not being clear. ]
You'll tell me if it's swallowing you.
[ Things change rapidly here. Pressures build, strains change, regrets ebb and flow. If any one of the delicate pieces in the balance change such that it pushes her out of tentative equilibrium with herself, he needs to trust that she'll make it known.
Hard things can still be brittle. ]
Edited (if what you didn't.......) 2020-08-17 01:33 (UTC)
And we're going to be the faces for this movement.
[It's an intentionally wry remark, even if she's not certain that it'll be grasped in text. All of that really spells out that they could easily be turned into something else. Clarke has done what she could to avoid revealing her powers to others, but there are a few who know. It's important that Stephen knows, lest they end up in a tricky situation where it comes to light.]
I should have died before I got back here. For all terms and purposes, I was dead. In clawing my way back, I got some perspective on things. You saw the way my mind was before. It wasn't easy to see that I deserved life, but I made it back somehow anyway. Bellamy helped, though he doesn't remember it now. That's six years in the future for him.
It doesn't mean I'm immune, but the past isn't likely to swallow me whole anymore.
As it is, the same goes for you.
[During the attack, Clarke knows why Stephen was worried about her. But she's better at knowing her limits now. She's better at knowing when she takes herself too far.
[ It carries. They've known one another long enough now to synchronise with one another's humour - enough to understand if not always to share. He shares this. The irony is something. ]
At least being equal parts right and wrong for the job should keep us humble.
[ As for the rest— ]
Good. I'm glad to hear it.
[ Six years is such a long time in a linear life. To be separated by that much time from somebody who's so physically close and had been so instrumental in your recovery must be challenging.
They seem to be operating fine despite it, she and Bellamy. Stephen'll start worrying again when she gives him cause to - for now, he'll take her at her word.
In a similar vein and in answer to her last statement, one last thing before they move on. ]
My last visit to my timeline covered a catastrophic shift in our universe. It's required the keeping of a lot secrets as people from my world have come and gone and the current assortment may complicate things depending on where in time they fit.
It's nothing that should impact my interactions with the business or others in the workplace. If I'm temperamental or distracted, tell me to snap out of it.
[ Equal parts a blanket apology and a forewarning not to worry if he's off his game. Just home world things he's been sitting on for long enough that he thought maybe he'd never have to address them. ]
Don't worry. Nothing will ever top Loki being upset that I shared his relationship that he and Jason publicly announced with you because some version of you and him have an antagonistic relationship.
[As a person in a highly political world? She gets it. But versions of you don't tend to come into play—thankfully. There's just younger and older. It's all less complicated that way.]
But right. Business, back to the same points (which I had to bring up in a separate window to ensure I didn't lose track):
1. Understood. Do you want me to speak to El or would you rather handle it? I believe that Morningstar has taken advantage of these foundational problems before to move people around, so we can only hope it would help now.
2. Sponsorship would help, wouldn't it? Do you know if anyone made connections inside of the simulation here? We can propose this to the group and see what we come up with at the time.
2b. We might want to look for noise cancellation and shooting range materials. It will be a lot of work, but I have a feeling that El will know how to get us the resources so long as we manage payment for them ourselves. I think that might be out of reach, but it could be a Morningstar-affiliated facility if we're willing to split the difference, too. I'm open to flexibility.
3. I think we'll need to rework the guide either way, largely removing some sections with scarce tactics and being more direct at the same time. (Yes, I'm referring to Damian's section.) We'll need to update what we've been through. I was thinking we could recruit, but I don't want to put you in the position of having to temper Damian.
4. That's a good point. I'll ask them, see what they've found out.
[Clarke is an artist, but she's not an interior decorator.
Mostly because she grew up with silver walls and is a bit more ... rustic in what she prefers. (Which is basically, "I don't have a preference.)]
1. We may as well cover 1 and 2b in the same conversation with El. I don't have much of a personal preference on who handles it, but as I'm Morningstar I may be the more convenient bridge. I'll raise both and advise to go to you for more information about the tunnels. As you say, it's not likely to be a problem.
2. I can guess at a couple of people who may have made the best of a bad situation but I'll confess to losing track. [ Haha... wonder why. ] Let's raise it with the rest, see what we can dig up. I can't imagine we'll have too much difficulty gaining sponsorship once we go public, but if we can do it without selling our souls to marketing departments that would be preferable.
2b. I don't have any difficulty sharing ownership with Morningstar. The space was a gift, we owe more than we're owed. If they're willing to help us with the cost and the work and they'll have it back regardless if one day we all up and disappear, the technicalities of ownership and affiliation don't make a difference. I'll bring it to El, see where we land.
3. The update is a necessity, yes.
In the long term we'll also need named individuals with good knowledge and temperament on call to answer questions personally, perhaps even to help others get acquainted with the city. Not everyone is going to be willing or able to go through a document or process it without help and while usually there are enough safehouse visitors to cover early questions, if somebody doesn't end up making a connection in those first days they need to know who they can contact. We can check if those already making a regular effort to visit and settle newcomers are happy making it more official and put a call out for this too. Ideally not so many as to overwhelm, but a cross-section of backgrounds to provide a comfortable contact for as wide a range of people as we can reasonably account for. Create some kind of a safe contact page for El to automatically forward to each new ID as it's generated.
First, thanks for volunteering to take the concerns to El. I do think it's better coming from you, especially since I was notably against Morningstar as an organization early on. Of course, that was a much younger version of myself.
Secondly, we'll ask. I think we can frame our approach to the Displaced as a framework for how we intend to go forward, as well as a series of questions and requests for assistance. We do still need someone to help us out together a powers and skills database.
Finally, with regards to Damian, it looks like I removed most of the originally inflammatory language already. [Foresight.] So no need to worry there.
I'll draft a write up of what we've worked out here together as well as what I can put into the arrival guide and return to you soon.
[Except for the grieving stuff. That's gonna be in there.]
Thanks, Clarke. I'll get in touch with El and let you know the results of our conversation when we come back together, then we can look to speaking to the others.
[ Some time not too long later so I don't forget to mention it in a post-grief hiatus thread, ]
Ze's concerned about the security aspect of incorporating the tunnels. The presence of a door or other evidently fortified opening would be a telling indicator of something on the other side if anyone stumbled across it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
As for abilities, perhaps we can be flexible. I'll admit, I'm of the opinion that both of us have abilities that won't dress us up to be particularly favored by society. I think you've seen some of what I'm willing to do to myself, but perhaps not the power set that's come of it. So, I should tell you now, since we're in this together—
Back home, I was known as "Wanheda" to the people in my world. "Heda" means "Commander" in the language that the people there spoke (Trigedasleng). The rest meant "death," essentially. I was known as the Commander of Death because of all the lives I took. Repeatedly. It was war, and I was often backed up against a wall, but I did it. I did it for my people.
[He never had context for the suicidal ideation. Not really. Now he does.]
Our powers are a reflection of who we are in some way, right? So my power all this time has been to steal life from others. Just like you're a former neurosurgeon who can read minds, I can steal away life.
I'll address the rest in a moment. But I needed to be clear on that. Finally.
no subject
To say this isn't a direction he expected the conversation to take would be both to state and to understate the obvious. Stephen sits with it for only a few moments. His answer comes more quickly than those before it. ]
We do what we have to to protect whatever it is we've sworn to protect. Those are never clean choices. There's never time for the sentiment that keeps people from doing ugly things. We make the mistake we can live with and we live with it.
[ Wanheda is nothing he can hold against her when he has a body count of his own. Hers seems to be all blood and bone, his fluctuates wildly up and down with time and perspective, but neither one of them has been without a people to stand for and a final decision to make. Not everybody has the luxury of walking the righteous path. Some have to clutter their souls to keep that path clear to be trod or passed up for another by others.
His old indoctrinated doctor's morality has long since stopped having first say in the shape of his actions. He may not condone killing but he understands the necessity of it. He knows, intimately, that every life has a different value to each person given cause to consider it, and that sometimes the value of a life becomes a price worth paying.
That doesn't make it feel any better or weigh any less. Some choices are survivable, some aren't, and sometimes that's all there is. ]
Our powers grow with us. What else can you do?
[ She's telling him this to shine light on her past, show him the shadowed things he needs to see in her to have something closer to the full picture. He appreciates her honesty and the trust that's implicit in it. But it's as she said - they're in this together. And there are other things they both ought to see in her too. ]
no subject
[Up to this point, Clarke has also been fortunate that one of her enemies hasn't turned up here. Octavia had an opportunity to put her history out there, and hadn't taken it. There was a time when she feared the same from Murphy, but it's already apparent that he has no desire to do that. He mostly wants reassurance that he's wanted around—which she can easily offer him, if nothing else.]
But you're right. They do. I can choose to cause pain in someone. I can dig around their memories, bringing it into myself. I don't have much practice with this, but the me in Zerzura did. And more recently—I can heal myself, and heal others with my own life force.
It's grown in a way I can't deny.
[A good way, even if the seed of it is still planted in a way that doesn't look good to the external view.]
Only a small handful of people know of my power. But if we're asked what we can do, I think there may be complications when it comes to specifics.
[Putting it on the table, so to speak. Making sure he knows.
She hasn't hidden her past here because she hoped to escape it. She's hidden it because she knows how bad it is, and she's had enough people try to tell her that it doesn't matter. Not in the big picture. But to Clarke, it's always mattered. It will always matter.]
no subject
[ She's absolutely right about that. Between the two of them, they'd be blacklisted in a week. The uglier concern: there may come a time when they need their powers as tool or weapon. Masks won't do them any good if they can be traced back to their power sets.
If they're avoiding specifics, they need an alternative. But Clarke's started a conversation that's more than just two exchanges long - they can get back to talking press release when it's over.
Honesty breeds honesty. ]
It's more than mind reading now. The mechanic of my power allows me to interact with the nervous system directly, both to translate and to alter electrical and chemical communications between neurons. To begin with that meant reading and speaking to minds. Now it also means identifying and hotwiring them. I can manipulate thought, initiate action remotely via direct interface with the central nervous system, interfere with a person's autonomic processes and as of last week I can take total physical control down to fine motor skills, processing their sensory data and/or operating their body as if it were my own moment by moment.
[ It doesn't paint a flattering picture. Each new development is an increasingly uncomfortable descent into assuming control over other lives at the expense of privacy and autonomy.
Clarke's journey carries her further away from her past and Stephen's seems only to cycle him back around to it. Years of growing and he's still not quite able to live by the Ancient One's final lesson. Helplessness steers him, and with it he steers others. ]
If what you did wasn't haunting you we'd have reason to worry. Just so long as it's informing you and not swallowing you.
[ He's not being clear. ]
You'll tell me if it's swallowing you.
[ Things change rapidly here. Pressures build, strains change, regrets ebb and flow. If any one of the delicate pieces in the balance change such that it pushes her out of tentative equilibrium with herself, he needs to trust that she'll make it known.
Hard things can still be brittle. ]
no subject
[It's an intentionally wry remark, even if she's not certain that it'll be grasped in text. All of that really spells out that they could easily be turned into something else. Clarke has done what she could to avoid revealing her powers to others, but there are a few who know. It's important that Stephen knows, lest they end up in a tricky situation where it comes to light.]
I should have died before I got back here. For all terms and purposes, I was dead. In clawing my way back, I got some perspective on things. You saw the way my mind was before. It wasn't easy to see that I deserved life, but I made it back somehow anyway. Bellamy helped, though he doesn't remember it now. That's six years in the future for him.
It doesn't mean I'm immune, but the past isn't likely to swallow me whole anymore.
As it is, the same goes for you.
[During the attack, Clarke knows why Stephen was worried about her. But she's better at knowing her limits now. She's better at knowing when she takes herself too far.
Better, but not perfect.]
no subject
At least being equal parts right and wrong for the job should keep us humble.
[ As for the rest— ]
Good. I'm glad to hear it.
[ Six years is such a long time in a linear life. To be separated by that much time from somebody who's so physically close and had been so instrumental in your recovery must be challenging.
They seem to be operating fine despite it, she and Bellamy. Stephen'll start worrying again when she gives him cause to - for now, he'll take her at her word.
In a similar vein and in answer to her last statement, one last thing before they move on. ]
My last visit to my timeline covered a catastrophic shift in our universe. It's required the keeping of a lot secrets as people from my world have come and gone and the current assortment may complicate things depending on where in time they fit.
It's nothing that should impact my interactions with the business or others in the workplace. If I'm temperamental or distracted, tell me to snap out of it.
[ Equal parts a blanket apology and a forewarning not to worry if he's off his game. Just home world things he's been sitting on for long enough that he thought maybe he'd never have to address them. ]
Shall we get back to business?
[ Moving swiftly on! ]
no subject
[As a person in a highly political world? She gets it. But versions of you don't tend to come into play—thankfully. There's just younger and older. It's all less complicated that way.]
But right. Business, back to the same points (which I had to bring up in a separate window to ensure I didn't lose track):
1. Understood. Do you want me to speak to El or would you rather handle it? I believe that Morningstar has taken advantage of these foundational problems before to move people around, so we can only hope it would help now.
2. Sponsorship would help, wouldn't it? Do you know if anyone made connections inside of the simulation here? We can propose this to the group and see what we come up with at the time.
2b. We might want to look for noise cancellation and shooting range materials. It will be a lot of work, but I have a feeling that El will know how to get us the resources so long as we manage payment for them ourselves. I think that might be out of reach, but it could be a Morningstar-affiliated facility if we're willing to split the difference, too. I'm open to flexibility.
3. I think we'll need to rework the guide either way, largely removing some sections with scarce tactics and being more direct at the same time. (Yes, I'm referring to Damian's section.) We'll need to update what we've been through. I was thinking we could recruit, but I don't want to put you in the position of having to temper Damian.
4. That's a good point. I'll ask them, see what they've found out.
[Clarke is an artist, but she's not an interior decorator.
Mostly because she grew up with silver walls and is a bit more ... rustic in what she prefers. (Which is basically, "I don't have a preference.)]
no subject
[ He's a special one. ]
1. We may as well cover 1 and 2b in the same conversation with El. I don't have much of a personal preference on who handles it, but as I'm Morningstar I may be the more convenient bridge. I'll raise both and advise to go to you for more information about the tunnels. As you say, it's not likely to be a problem.
2. I can guess at a couple of people who may have made the best of a bad situation but I'll confess to losing track. [ Haha... wonder why. ] Let's raise it with the rest, see what we can dig up. I can't imagine we'll have too much difficulty gaining sponsorship once we go public, but if we can do it without selling our souls to marketing departments that would be preferable.
2b. I don't have any difficulty sharing ownership with Morningstar. The space was a gift, we owe more than we're owed. If they're willing to help us with the cost and the work and they'll have it back regardless if one day we all up and disappear, the technicalities of ownership and affiliation don't make a difference. I'll bring it to El, see where we land.
3. The update is a necessity, yes.
In the long term we'll also need named individuals with good knowledge and temperament on call to answer questions personally, perhaps even to help others get acquainted with the city. Not everyone is going to be willing or able to go through a document or process it without help and while usually there are enough safehouse visitors to cover early questions, if somebody doesn't end up making a connection in those first days they need to know who they can contact. We can check if those already making a regular effort to visit and settle newcomers are happy making it more official and put a call out for this too. Ideally not so many as to overwhelm, but a cross-section of backgrounds to provide a comfortable contact for as wide a range of people as we can reasonably account for. Create some kind of a safe contact page for El to automatically forward to each new ID as it's generated.
Re: Damian, what are your specific concerns?
4. If you need any input, let me know.
no subject
First, thanks for volunteering to take the concerns to El. I do think it's better coming from you, especially since I was notably against Morningstar as an organization early on. Of course, that was a much younger version of myself.
Secondly, we'll ask. I think we can frame our approach to the Displaced as a framework for how we intend to go forward, as well as a series of questions and requests for assistance. We do still need someone to help us out together a powers and skills database.
Finally, with regards to Damian, it looks like I removed most of the originally inflammatory language already. [Foresight.] So no need to worry there.
I'll draft a write up of what we've worked out here together as well as what I can put into the arrival guide and return to you soon.
[Except for the grieving stuff. That's gonna be in there.]
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Ze's concerned about the security aspect of incorporating the tunnels. The presence of a door or other evidently fortified opening would be a telling indicator of something on the other side if anyone stumbled across it.
no subject