If Jasper's talking to me, he's making more progress than we could ever hope for. [It was open-ended, but Clarke took the route that happened to be easiest for her. Talking about how she feels when there isn't a whole lot of good ahead of them isn't easy. She imagines Raven will have ideas as they move forward, but she doesn't want to talk plans. Not yet. Not when so many people are still holding back tears, recalling their hands slamming spikes into the hands of both loved ones and strangers under the control of ALIE. It's too much.
It's not even that Clarke wants to avoid. She wishes she could throw herself into it. But as Raven found out a long time ago, there are some things that Clarke is just not good at. Medical science is a plus. Other kinds of science ... less so.]
But I guess that's why I'm taking a break here. A lot of people are ... glad, I guess, to have everything back. But so happy, either. [And because of that, any built up resentment they have against Clarke for leaving, or stopping ALIE, or any other number of things she's done, is currently being exaggerated. Thankfully, she's enough of her own punching bag to not take it to heart. She saw the City of Light. If they could be themselves there, would it be so bad to slip away?
[ Right now, Raven's focused on the repairs within arm's reach. Everything she can do from Arkadia, though she knows, inevitably, they'll need to venture outside. And she's not sure how much use she'll be then, with the thick brace on her leg hampering her movements. But first, get the system back up and running. That's what she can do now.
Her pet project, the chip residing on the table behind her, can wait. Perhaps even until after they're in the clear, assuming that ever comes to pass. ]
They will be, [ Raven tells her, offering direct reassurance. ] Once they realize what they were going to lose, they'll be happy.
[ It's more complicated than that. Raven knows it is. But the truth of the matter comes down to the simplicity of a single question. What had they lost to live within the City of Light? Freedom. It wasn't living. It was existing. Painlessly, in Raven's case, but that wasn't enough to barter away her will and her memories. She lifts a hand to the necklace, thumbs running over the blunted wings of the raven there as she leans back in her seat. ]
And then they'll have to get to work.
[ Doing what, that's the real question. But the sentiment is true. They'll all need to do what's needed to ensure survival. The sheer scope of what loomed in their future would demand it. ]
Any idea where to get us started? [Clarke can't help but wonder if Raven at least knows some of the plans that ALIE dismissed along the way. After all, she seemed to think it was impossible to stop the threat ahead, but then, she also thought that destroying the Earth's population was a solution. It's not like she's a beacon of reason. Besides, Becca seemed certain that they would find an answer.
What that answer would be, Clarke doesn't know. She wishes she could talk to her again, but her blood is red once more, and it's not like they have a flood of Nightbloods kicking around.]
I wouldn't mind learning what I can. So I can help. [The last time they tried teaming up to do some wiring and world saving (or people saving, really), Clarke hadn't had a single clue about where to begin. She still doesn't, but they have some time. They won't be improvising on the fly.
Besides, working with Raven, getting lessons like this in motion, definitely tops whatever interpersonal stuff she'll have to heal. And she will. She just doesn't have to yet.]
[ Raven's lips purse. She leans back slightly in her chair, neck rolling on her shoulders. There's aches and pains slowly making themselves known, but Raven doesn't plan on sleeping them off. She's choosing her words carefully in this moment, aware that some of the jargon that comes to her lips would go over Clarke's head, and that's not going to serve either of them. ]
I've got coordinates, [ Raven admits, distaste in her tone. It's a boon, but one that had been hard to come by. ] I can at least point you all in the right direction.
[ Even if she might not be able to accompany them in person. But Raven will work on that too. If it came down to it, she'd piggyback there on Bellamy's shoulders. ]
Everything else is a little...
[ She trails off, sighing. Her eyes fix on Clarke's face, even as her jaw juts stubbornly out against what she feels is an admission of a failing. ]
I know things. It's just hard to put together. That's why I need that.
[ Raven sweeps a hand towards the chip, suspended on the rig. ]
Coordinates are a good start. [The admission of a failure doesn't go without notice for Clarke, so she ups the "reassurance" in her tone with those initial words. Clarke knows that she has to curb some of her worst habits from here on out, especially with how her return wasn't exactly warmly welcomed. She made a mistake in leaving. Now, she adjusts.]
We might be able to work out something between the Flame and the keys. [She draws out the Flame, resting it on her thigh. Clarke has wondered if Lexa is still in there, but she doesn't dare to hope. If they get in there, it won't matter if the minds of the Commanders are saved. They'll have more important work to do.]
There's no way Becca thought we'd both figure something out and that she really intended to make everyone into Nightbloods to survive. She was supposed to become a part of the Ark Station. If you can figure it out ... [Well, they might have a direction. More than coordinates. The emphasis on Raven is important. While she trails off, Clarke absolutely believes she can manage it. Absolutely.
The image of the bird on the door is still in her thoughts. They're better together than separate. She just wishes she realized that sooner.]
Edited (improving the tag to be fluffier tbh) 2016-09-13 22:57 (UTC)
[ A start isn't good enough, not as far as Raven's concerned but she's aware of what Clarke's trying to do. It's in Clarke's nature to push hard when she gets single-minded about anything. Raven notes the diversion from the frantic pushing she'd done when they'd been trying to bring down an entire damn mountain.
Averting a second nuclear holocaust is going to be more difficult. But Raven's unwilling to deem it impossible, even in her thoughts. ]
I'll get the Ark up and running again first. Once I reestablish the connection, we'll be able to get some answers.
[ Hopefully. ]
Clarke, can I...?
[ The Flame. Lexa. She remembers the way Clarke had screamed when Jasper tried to smash it. That's what stops Raven from casually plucking it away from Clarke. There's still a lingering, desperate urge to possess that jars with Raven's curiosity like ground glass. Excising everything ALIE left behind is going to take time.
And there's an apology Raven wants to make, coupled with a more quiet, intimate admission. I'm so glad you're back, is on the list of necessary things to tell Clarke, but Raven wants it completely separated from shop talk. It'll hold more weight when it doesn't feel like an after-thought, though she thinks Clarke already knows how Raven feels. ]
[She recalls what she learned from the Flame in her brief time with it—that it had been formed to connect with the Ark, to ensure that all of the Stations would survive until it was time for them to return to the ground. It occurs to her that if the Ark needs to be set back up, the Flame itself might be the means to doing it. Then again, the deterioration might stop that. It's hard to say.
When Raven asks, she shakes out of the process of thoughts she nearly strayed on, and she takes up the tin canister and places it gingerly in Raven's hand. She recalls the desperate effort to keep it away from Raven, but Clarke doesn't worry about that now. She's seen the dark rings under her eyes, and her need to try to make everything better <already. The problem is that it's never as simple as that.]
I think she's gone. [The words might sound and feel like an admission, but that's because they are. Clarke knows ALIE would have ripped her away in those final moments, and likely did, but she had made it to the backdoor of the Flame. "I will always be with you" had been a lie, destroyed by the forged mysticism of Lexa's people, as it was the only way to explain all that they knew.]
[ The first impression Raven has is that it's lighter than expected. The second is a shudder, some muted spark in the back of her mind. There's no reason to feel accomplished, but she does. Her fingers close over the tin as she takes a breath, biting her lip to ground herself against it. She doesn't crack the tin open to look, raises her eyes to meet Clarke's instead.
There's no mistaking that meaning. Raven gently sets the tin down on the tabletop, expression intent. ]
I'm sorry, [ Raven tells her. ] I know what she meant to you.
[ As fogged as Raven's mind had been with ALIE, she'd understood what Clarke's reactions to mentions of Lexa meant. She could recognize that kind of grief. She'd felt it for Finn, more so now with ALIE'S influence lifted. It's not the sort of thing that fades away easily. ]
At least you could tell her goodbye.
[ It's hollow. Raven's lip quirks in a grim smile as she says it. There's no comfort in good-byes. ]
[That's one thing that's certainly true: there is no comfort in saying good-bye. Clarke has now had to say it to Lexa twice, and even with finally telling her that she loved her, it had amounted to nothing more than an inevitable absence. With all that she faces ahead, Clarke knows how much her people will need her. The issue is how broadly that is defined by now.
She holds steady for a moment before nodding toward the Flame, allowing that to pass.] I don't want to feel good about saying that to anyone else. If there's something to be had, it's on here.
[Clarke can't help but wonder if Raven knew before that this was coming, but hadn't been in the right mind to process it. Maybe ... maybe they don't need the Flame.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's not even that Clarke wants to avoid. She wishes she could throw herself into it. But as Raven found out a long time ago, there are some things that Clarke is just not good at. Medical science is a plus. Other kinds of science ... less so.]
But I guess that's why I'm taking a break here. A lot of people are ... glad, I guess, to have everything back. But so happy, either. [And because of that, any built up resentment they have against Clarke for leaving, or stopping ALIE, or any other number of things she's done, is currently being exaggerated. Thankfully, she's enough of her own punching bag to not take it to heart. She saw the City of Light. If they could be themselves there, would it be so bad to slip away?
The question looms large in her mind.]
no subject
Her pet project, the chip residing on the table behind her, can wait. Perhaps even until after they're in the clear, assuming that ever comes to pass. ]
They will be, [ Raven tells her, offering direct reassurance. ] Once they realize what they were going to lose, they'll be happy.
[ It's more complicated than that. Raven knows it is. But the truth of the matter comes down to the simplicity of a single question. What had they lost to live within the City of Light? Freedom. It wasn't living. It was existing. Painlessly, in Raven's case, but that wasn't enough to barter away her will and her memories. She lifts a hand to the necklace, thumbs running over the blunted wings of the raven there as she leans back in her seat. ]
And then they'll have to get to work.
[ Doing what, that's the real question. But the sentiment is true. They'll all need to do what's needed to ensure survival. The sheer scope of what loomed in their future would demand it. ]
no subject
What that answer would be, Clarke doesn't know. She wishes she could talk to her again, but her blood is red once more, and it's not like they have a flood of Nightbloods kicking around.]
I wouldn't mind learning what I can. So I can help. [The last time they tried teaming up to do some wiring and world saving (or people saving, really), Clarke hadn't had a single clue about where to begin. She still doesn't, but they have some time. They won't be improvising on the fly.
Besides, working with Raven, getting lessons like this in motion, definitely tops whatever interpersonal stuff she'll have to heal. And she will. She just doesn't have to yet.]
no subject
I've got coordinates, [ Raven admits, distaste in her tone. It's a boon, but one that had been hard to come by. ] I can at least point you all in the right direction.
[ Even if she might not be able to accompany them in person. But Raven will work on that too. If it came down to it, she'd piggyback there on Bellamy's shoulders. ]
Everything else is a little...
[ She trails off, sighing. Her eyes fix on Clarke's face, even as her jaw juts stubbornly out against what she feels is an admission of a failing. ]
I know things. It's just hard to put together. That's why I need that.
[ Raven sweeps a hand towards the chip, suspended on the rig. ]
no subject
We might be able to work out something between the Flame and the keys. [She draws out the Flame, resting it on her thigh. Clarke has wondered if Lexa is still in there, but she doesn't dare to hope. If they get in there, it won't matter if the minds of the Commanders are saved. They'll have more important work to do.]
There's no way Becca thought we'd both figure something out and that she really intended to make everyone into Nightbloods to survive. She was supposed to become a part of the Ark Station. If you can figure it out ... [Well, they might have a direction. More than coordinates. The emphasis on Raven is important. While she trails off, Clarke absolutely believes she can manage it. Absolutely.
The image of the bird on the door is still in her thoughts. They're better together than separate. She just wishes she realized that sooner.]
no subject
Averting a second nuclear holocaust is going to be more difficult. But Raven's unwilling to deem it impossible, even in her thoughts. ]
I'll get the Ark up and running again first. Once I reestablish the connection, we'll be able to get some answers.
[ Hopefully. ]
Clarke, can I...?
[ The Flame. Lexa. She remembers the way Clarke had screamed when Jasper tried to smash it. That's what stops Raven from casually plucking it away from Clarke. There's still a lingering, desperate urge to possess that jars with Raven's curiosity like ground glass. Excising everything ALIE left behind is going to take time.
And there's an apology Raven wants to make, coupled with a more quiet, intimate admission. I'm so glad you're back, is on the list of necessary things to tell Clarke, but Raven wants it completely separated from shop talk. It'll hold more weight when it doesn't feel like an after-thought, though she thinks Clarke already knows how Raven feels. ]
no subject
When Raven asks, she shakes out of the process of thoughts she nearly strayed on, and she takes up the tin canister and places it gingerly in Raven's hand. She recalls the desperate effort to keep it away from Raven, but Clarke doesn't worry about that now. She's seen the dark rings under her eyes, and her need to try to make everything better <already. The problem is that it's never as simple as that.]
I think she's gone. [The words might sound and feel like an admission, but that's because they are. Clarke knows ALIE would have ripped her away in those final moments, and likely did, but she had made it to the backdoor of the Flame. "I will always be with you" had been a lie, destroyed by the forged mysticism of Lexa's people, as it was the only way to explain all that they knew.]
no subject
There's no mistaking that meaning. Raven gently sets the tin down on the tabletop, expression intent. ]
I'm sorry, [ Raven tells her. ] I know what she meant to you.
[ As fogged as Raven's mind had been with ALIE, she'd understood what Clarke's reactions to mentions of Lexa meant. She could recognize that kind of grief. She'd felt it for Finn, more so now with ALIE'S influence lifted. It's not the sort of thing that fades away easily. ]
At least you could tell her goodbye.
[ It's hollow. Raven's lip quirks in a grim smile as she says it. There's no comfort in good-byes. ]
no subject
She holds steady for a moment before nodding toward the Flame, allowing that to pass.] I don't want to feel good about saying that to anyone else. If there's something to be had, it's on here.
[Clarke can't help but wonder if Raven knew before that this was coming, but hadn't been in the right mind to process it. Maybe ... maybe they don't need the Flame.
But she's betting that they do.]