[ Whatever Raven had or hadn't said about it, taking down ALIE had been personal. Raven had felt used, furious with herself and furious with Jaha, with ALIE, with the entire world for what had happened.
Or more specifically, what Raven had nearly allowed to happen. She'd helped. She'd been an important part of the plan. Being a crucial part of helping end the entire threat and reverse the effects isn't enough to quell the guilt and shame that rise like bile every time she remembers what she'd done, what she'd said. Throwing herself entirely into work keeps everything at bay for the moment. The best thing about how rundown Arkadia is and how short-staffed their people are now is that there's no shortage of things that need Raven's attention.
(The newfound computer knowledge she's gained comes from ALIE. Raven's very carefully planning to consider that in the moments between projects. If such a moment ever presents itself.)
Harper tells Raven they're back. She doesn't extricate herself from the makeshift control room, but they filter in one by one. Abby, to check Raven's leg, wrists, and neck, Octavia, to talk around a goodbye, Bellamy, to do nothing more than touch her hand and vanish. Clarke appears last, and Raven's gaze lifts from the screens, blinking owlishly before she finally takes her hands from the keyboard. ]
Monty was sleeping here for a couple days, [ Raven tells her, fond exasperation in her voice. ] Pull up a chair, Clarke.
[ Seeing her is a relief. Raven knows that Clarke had been fine, had been told as much repeatedly, but seeing Clarke in front of her finally eases the last of Raven's worries. ]
Did you see Jasper and Monty yet?
[ The infirmary has to be overflowing. Raven likes to tell herself that fact is part of the reason why she's stalled out on heading down there herself. ]
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Or more specifically, what Raven had nearly allowed to happen. She'd helped. She'd been an important part of the plan. Being a crucial part of helping end the entire threat and reverse the effects isn't enough to quell the guilt and shame that rise like bile every time she remembers what she'd done, what she'd said. Throwing herself entirely into work keeps everything at bay for the moment. The best thing about how rundown Arkadia is and how short-staffed their people are now is that there's no shortage of things that need Raven's attention.
(The newfound computer knowledge she's gained comes from ALIE. Raven's very carefully planning to consider that in the moments between projects. If such a moment ever presents itself.)
Harper tells Raven they're back. She doesn't extricate herself from the makeshift control room, but they filter in one by one. Abby, to check Raven's leg, wrists, and neck, Octavia, to talk around a goodbye, Bellamy, to do nothing more than touch her hand and vanish. Clarke appears last, and Raven's gaze lifts from the screens, blinking owlishly before she finally takes her hands from the keyboard. ]
Monty was sleeping here for a couple days, [ Raven tells her, fond exasperation in her voice. ] Pull up a chair, Clarke.
[ Seeing her is a relief. Raven knows that Clarke had been fine, had been told as much repeatedly, but seeing Clarke in front of her finally eases the last of Raven's worries. ]
Did you see Jasper and Monty yet?
[ The infirmary has to be overflowing. Raven likes to tell herself that fact is part of the reason why she's stalled out on heading down there herself. ]