All right. So, I just got back. Weird to write this now that you know that I did it. When I started the messages back home, I always hoped that you would. I always hoped that you'd hear it and tell me that you all made it up to the ring just fine. I had no choice but to hope. Those first forty days were hard, but the thought that you'd be taking care of everyone helped. And then they stretched on and on, and I met Madi, and everything changed.
When I first started this, the Bellamy I last saw here was from right before I went into the City of Light the first time. I still don't know that you'll ever see this. See these. I hope I'm brave enough to show them to you.
I wasn't my best person before. Not when we met up again after six years. Not here in New Amsterdam. I both wanted this life and wanted to avoid the responsibility I had back home, while expecting everyone to listen to me. I would listen to others and pick out what I wanted to hear, but I wasn't fair or understanding in the least. I fought with people.
You're probably laughing at this now. That's what I do.
But I want to live up to what Monty said. If you ever see this and don't know what I mean, ask me. I'll tell you. But the gist was that we all needed to do better. We needed to do better.
I'm going to try. Every day I can, I'm going to try.
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november 29, 2511
When I first started this, the Bellamy I last saw here was from right before I went into the City of Light the first time. I still don't know that you'll ever see this. See these. I hope I'm brave enough to show them to you.
I wasn't my best person before. Not when we met up again after six years. Not here in New Amsterdam. I both wanted this life and wanted to avoid the responsibility I had back home, while expecting everyone to listen to me. I would listen to others and pick out what I wanted to hear, but I wasn't fair or understanding in the least. I fought with people.
You're probably laughing at this now. That's what I do.
But I want to live up to what Monty said. If you ever see this and don't know what I mean, ask me. I'll tell you. But the gist was that we all needed to do better. We needed to do better.
I'm going to try. Every day I can, I'm going to try.