strove | INBOX ( meadowlark )

No.

[Maybe he should have, but there's still a sort of disconnect there. He knows about these things logically, but there's still a level of understanding missing. He can only intuit how Murphy and Clarke feel about how everything happened through the empathy bond after the fact, and he's still trying to internalize it all for himself. It means it's harder for him to talk about those things on the same level of understanding, and he always feels just a hair off.]

I told him we'd be selling out everyone who helped us, and he said it would be worth it to keep us safe. He's got tunnel vision.

The plan makes sense.

[Beyond the factors. It makes sense within the scope of their world.]

Within what he's decided. What he would decide. That it's only a matter of time before someone is next.

But the problem is that we don't know enough. We don't know if they even need our DNA, much less want it. There are too many holes in their story.

[Leave it to someone else having a bad idea for Clarke to suddenly get smart by way of condescension.]

Even stopping them the way I planned could be what they want.

I know. I get why he thinks it's our only shot, but we can't be useful forever.

[And that isn't even touching the fact that betraying the rest of the Displaced is a horrifying idea to Bellamy.]

Signing any of you up doesn't make sense. I'm the only one who's not a nightblood. If we're sending someone in, it should be me.

[And no draining, please.]

If Riverstone was actually interested in doing good, I'd offer over the Nightblood right away. But I don't know the formula, so it doesn't matter.

[Bone marrow extraction is only part of the formula, after all.]

Because it could help this world. So concealing it doesn't make sense. It's just sending someone else in.

And I'm not leaving you to do that. I won't.

[So she and Murphy are firmly on the same page there, which doesn't surprise him.]

None of us knows enough about Riverstone to really know what we're dealing with. Even Rey's just banking on hope. We can focus on that. Figure out a way to find out more without involving ourselves with the tests.

It's not a bad idea.

But how are we going to stop Murphy? You know this whole thing is my fault.

[Being afraid. Being cast aside. Who better to instill that in him than Clarke herself?

And she's glad to take ownership of it.]

It wasn't just you, Clarke.

[The hanging, the banishment, threatening to kill Murphy if he didn't leave camp, opening the bunker and putting Murphy and Emori in danger... Those are all on him, too. She can't just blame herself.]

I don't know if anything will stop Murphy except stopping the tests somehow, or ensuring they don't touch us.

How long until he doesn't believe they're holding up their end of the bargain?

He didn't give me a timeframe, but I'm thinking there's no question in his mind about Riverstone holding up anything. He thinks if the tests happen, we're done.

Something about this doesn't seem right. We've seen some of the Displaced kidnapped and brought to different locations, and the fact that someone could make that happen.

If someone wanted to do that to us and had the means, they could do it.

They wouldn't need us to say yes to it.

Maybe not, but I understand why he's afraid of it.

[Logical or not, Bellamy's afraid of it too.]

They want something. There's no way Rey is right on this. So what? Something they don't need to hold us to get.

It might be whoever helped her out. But it doesn't seem like it could be that simple, and what I've seen tells me that it can't just be that.

Unless we figure that out, we're always going to be on the defense. Always guessing. That should be our focus.

I wish we had gotten ahead of this. Stephen and I have a plan to get a video out to the world, but Riverstone beat us to the punch. Now I'm worried it might be too late to take control of things.